H's value

There are A, B, C, D, E, F...R.
Hurting by F and R.
Giving up all my activities and sports because of your R existence.
Arrival of T with encourages.
Come along with L, brings advice and positive thoughts.
Always acting as a unnecessary rubbish bins for me to scold and cry.
Brothers and sisters with S, T, U, V, X, Y, Z...
Leaving of T makes me lacking of confidences.
Friends around.
Acting cheer and cool.
Accompany by L is the only dependent.
Appear of a S and a J.
Fool and crap with.
Happiness is not absence everyday.
Knowing about H.
Understanding is always lacking.
Confuses and sadness always there to upset me.
Rejection is a good choice.
Avoiding these confuses and loneliness.
Once rejected is reject forever which is unexpected.
Approaching by S brings happiness but not love.
Jealousy of H hurts my feeling.
Blur relationship.
Emotional feelings.
Complicated emotion.
Only you tend to be.
Only you.

她和他的生日

今天是她和他的生日，
总是让我觉得些许尴尬忧愁的日子。
我们的感情和距离，
好似那句话般的遥远陌生。
认识的日子七年，
原来还不及另一个他来的重视信任。
被伤过的伤口早已愈合，
但时间去不了的疤痕还在。
我们从此不说话，
点头和笑意也显得多余。

那些过去种种，
就让它好好的被隐埋。
我还是会彩色我的人生，
为我快乐多一点。


你是否知道
曾经伤透了我的心？

快乐由心决定

自己的责任，
自己承担。

他人的责任，
不是由你来负责。

不需懊恼
他人烦恼。

快乐可以选择。
你的快乐是个决择。

一天的快乐由心决定。


s/p:深呼吸，再吐气。加油！要相信 你可以很好的！！！

笨蛋

当个笨蛋
一点也不容易
又得傻
又得不明白
又得看不到
又得听不到
又得不记得
又得原谅
又得开心

当个笨蛋
是件很累事
只因想太多

Complicated

Never thought it would be that complicated.
How much I wish it can be simple?

Who you think you are?
Stop ruining my life and thought.
You don't deserve the right for me to be sad all the time.

Why it becomes complicated?
Never letting you to influence me anymore!


s/p: gambatek!

The days of month ago

It seems open the school few days ago.
But actually it's already the the sixth weeks I have been at Sarawak.
Too many things were happened during these while.

Staying alone outside from the university.
Was quite afraid that I couldn't used to it and emo all the time.
Fortunately, I have learn to be more independent.
I'm not so scare when I'm walking alone along the way 'home'.
It doesn't seem to be that lonely that what I had thought.
My new housemates are very nice and good.
They always having jokes and play around by picking the right time.
They always looks busy with the church activities and their studies.
However, there will be delicious dinner prepared every night I get home.
This is making me not so serious homesick and cheering up my days.

In this new semester, I have tried to join different group of friends.
I'm feeling more secure and fun when I'm mixing with different bunch of friends.
Although I just keep quiet or keep laughing beside at most of the time.
This probably because I'm not fixing myself in a small circle with 1 to 7 girls anymore.
I'm no longer need to assort and tolerate most of the time but responsible to myself.

Being honest, I couldn't cope with my studies as the given notes were so messy all the time.
Non-printed notes for me to jot the main points always making me fall asleep terribly.
Trying few ways to waken myself and concentrate in class but failed every time.
I can only stay awake when the topic is interested.
This make me feeling stress and blur after every class.

Tend to talk more with him.
I wish I can believe every single words he said to me.
Unfortunately, there are quite a few rumours fluctuating me.
Asked few friends for advice.
Most of them advised me not to believe.
Some of them advised me to observe more before making decision.

Choose to believe you once again by observing more.
Choose to believe is not stupid.
Giving up the chances is stupid.
I just don't want to be regret.
As you know, the truth is hurt.
But when it is only a lie, it's even more than double hurt.
About believe, is always the words that you are wishing to listen.

Hopefully, this is the right choice I made.
Please don't disappoint me.

s/p:
Well, I'm using my broken English.
Please don't laugh at me since I'm trying my very best to practice and learn.
Hope you are understand. ^^